Love Without Sex – (Not) Possible
There are couples, who consciously slow down or even stop their sexual relationships. This becomes even more and more common, as sexologists explain.
What can make certain couples make the conscious decision to stop having sex?
As it turns out, couples, who live with little, or no sex, are much more than you expect. These is a new kind of relationship, where the couple steps into a new kind of marriage.
Most often these people have had normal sexual activity for years, but at a certain point, they are threatened by having to break up with each other. They decide to keep living together, take care of their children, but they stop their intimate relationship.
A normal person would think, that such relationship can’t last very long, but there are cases, where this can last for years, without becoming a trouble for either of the couple.
Does the couple continue to exist if they don’t have sex?
It has been widely accepted that sex is the moving force in the love relationship, but that’s oversimplified. There are people, who perceive things differently, and they say that they are happy with their life situation. Some people manage to find a balance between each other, even if their sexual contacts are very rare or even non existent. One of my patients, who made the decision to live like that with his spouse, has been married for 25 years.
Are there young couples, who willingly give up sexual activity?
Yes, that’s also a common theme. Most often these are young people, who are very dedicated to their profession, and they put their love life aside in the most important moments of their career, only to be able to give their best and get a better job and life standard.
These are people, who think that sex is not the most important thing in the world. People, who are in a “love relationship” based only on friendship are also not uncommon. They live together, they have intimacy on some level, but they have little to no sex, because that part of their relationships is not concerning them.
Are there cases, where the couple has sex less often as a way to have a better experience during sex?
Some couples use this way, when their passion is growing weaker. They begin to have sex less often only to keep the pleasure of intimacy.
But anyway, if there is no intimate relationship, doesn’t that threaten the integrity of the couple?
If the decision is conscious for both of them, then it’s just the opposite. Sometimes this is the only way to save the relationship between two people. In my opinion, as a sexologist, sex is an integral part of our lives, and it’s even the main impulse for living. That’s why I think, that relationship, where there’s no sex, is out of the question.
Even if the restrain is accepted willingly, it always has a reflection in the subconscious. If getting over this starts to take too long, the couple can even get to the point of depression.
What can you advice people, who have given up having sex?
I believe, that if you stop your sex life, it must be only for a short period of time, after which you should continue your normal sexual activity. If it’s rare, then it has to be very valuable in order to have a fulfilling life.
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